Navy Community, Navy Spouse and Family Resources - Navy Times

Let love ease difficulties of being military spouse

Being married to the military is no picnic, but it can be a thrilling ride. We believe it’s all just a matter of perspective. At least, that has been our experience since we began — and embraced — this journey. To celebrate the new year, we asked readers to share their experiences of military marriage. Who can resist hearing — and being inspired by — simple, timeless tales of love?

The language of love

“When I first met the woman who would become my wife, I knew very little about the Navy. We talked about her experiences in the service, and I was astonished at the seemingly endless blizzard of acronyms throughout the conversation. TDY, TAD, LES, MWR, BUPERS, PCO, PXO ... the list never seemed to end! At first I had to ask her to decipher almost every sentence.

“That was eight years ago, and I now understand those acronyms and many more. I’ve also learned to appreciate what a dedicated, capable, honorable and wonderful person she is, and I love [Tracy] more each and every day.”

— Adrian

Hello, I love you

“There is a song called ‘You Had Me From Hello’ by Kenny Chesney. Every time I hear it I cry, because it is exactly what happened to me when I met my soldier. We talked on the telephone before we ever met. I remember the first time I heard his voice. There was something wonderful, special about that voice. I saw his face in a picture before I ever met him face to face. I was already in love with him and I remember thinking how strange to be holding a photo of the man I knew I was going to marry. We are several years past that now. We have five sons, three moves, a recruiting stint and an ongoing deployment under our belts.

“He is my lover and my best friend. He is my hero and my leader. I will go where he goes and his people will be my people. And, on those good days when the phones are working or the computer connections work, I’ll hear it, first a little static, then, ‘Hey babe.’ His voice! He still gets me at ‘hello.’”

— Heather

So there you have it. When you are feeling down or put out by this military lifestyle, remember Adrian’s and Heather’s words. Remember, too, the reasons that made you fall in love with your spouse in the first place.

We believe that the love we share with our spouses gives us the strength to navigate this unique journey.

Recently, we were asked why we said “I do” to this lifestyle. A woman could not fathom why we would want this life. Our response: “We don’t necessarily choose the military, we choose our mate.”

Thankfully, it starts that way, because if we did know what we were getting into first, we might not have chosen this path and may have missed out on our one and only.

That said, we realize military life does impose special pressures on couples. When it does, it’s important to remember that, in most cases, it is the situation — deployments, moves, disabilities — you are frustrated with, not your spouse. And as you begin the new year, face any challenges in your relationship with a renewed vigor that draws upon the energy and exhilaration you felt when you first stepped onto this ride.