Navy Community, Navy Spouse and Family Resources - Navy Times

Planning, creativity can ease moving pains

"The process of moving is a lot like labor pain," says Marine Corps spouse Michelle Masinsin. "The actual act of moving is painful. Once you are there and in a new place, however, things are new and interesting. You forget the pain."

Most military spouses will tell you they hate the moving process. But there are aspects they learn to love. From the chance to explore our country and the world to the chance to reinvent ourselves or our surroundings, moving has advantages.

There's another commonality between childbirth and a military move: We learn to prepare for both by talking with others who've been through the experience -- and by reading books about the process.

Military spouses have written books that include chapters full of tips on moving. These include "Married to the Military" by Meredith Leyva and "The Homefront Club" by Jacey Eckhart. Relocation expert Beverly Roman has a Web site, www.branchor .com, that sells books such as "Relocation 101."

Ask your military friends for tips and adopt the ones that work for you. Even if you've been through many moves, check with your relocation office on base. There may be new, helpful resources that you don't know about.

Here are tips from military spouses who have weathered many moves:

• Find out about your new community before you move. Check out the Standard Installation Topic Exchange Service at www.dmdc.osd .mil/sites. Get your copy of the "Know Your Neighborhood" report for your new location from Military OneSource.

• Replicate a favorite routine early on. Whether it's your exercise workout, finding a new favorite coffee shop or starting your family bike rides again (yes, even before everything is unpacked), duplicate at least one routine early on. It makes the new place seem like home more quickly.

• Make unpacking less tedious. Listening to an audiobook makes unpacking plate after plate and glass after glass much less tiresome.

• Recognize and plan for the stresses that every move can put on a relationship. As longtime Army wife Christina Clarkson said, "We go to great lengths to find out about schools, housing, jobs, etc., when we move. But how many people give any thought to how it will affect the marriage? With all the millions of details to deal with, we don't usually take much time to find ways to pamper our relationship as husband and wife."

Clarkson suggests adding things specifically meant for couples to your moving "to-do" list: Make dinner reservations as soon as possible after getting to the new location; schedule a surprise for each other (massage, flowers); and agree on what is off-limits (no yelling unless the house is on fire).

Moving is difficult, but you can take steps to ease the process. Then, you can get excited about your new home.

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Kathie Hightower and Holly Scherer are military spouses who have written articles and presented workshops based on their research and experience for more than 10 years. Contact them at marriedtomilitary@atpco.com.