Kevlar for the Mind: Coming back home: The first 2 months - Off Duty, Military Health and Fitness - Navy Times

Kevlar for the Mind: Coming back home: The first 2 months

My last column was the first of three on the transition process from deployment to home that begins with the first few often-chaotic days after “wheels down.”

This week, I’m focusing on the first 30 to 60 days after coming home.

Adjusting to a different pace

For most of you, life will have returned to being fairly normal. Some of you will go on leave, transfer to a new base or post, or leave the military and join the civilian rat race.

Your sleep schedule should return to normal, and your mood should begin to level out. You will have reconnected with family and friends, settled back into work, and developed a host of interests that will keep your days and weeks filled with activities.

However, some of you will have a more difficult time adjusting during this period. Here are a few things that can help.

• Acknowledge when something seems off. You know yourself better than anyone else. If after several weeks your sleep isn’t getting better, you’re getting into frequent arguments with your spouse or significant other, or you’re losing your temper over trivial things, tell someone.

It doesn’t have to be a mental health professional. You can talk to your chaplain, squad leader, first sergeant, chief or a friend that you trust. Sometimes just talking about your situation with someone who understands helps.

However, if you’re drinking more than usual, having nightmares, feeling depressed or finding it tough to let go of something that happened during deployment, talk with someone at your local mental health clinic or your health care provider.

• Develop and stick to a routine. Except for “hydrate, adapt and overcome,” and “don’t be late to formation,” the most frequent piece of advice heard in the military is to maintain a routine.

It’s sound advice. Routines help you regain and maintain control of yourself and your environment. It doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary — develop a new exercise routine, agree on a recurring date night with your spouse or significant other, or take your kid to soccer practice.

• Take a few long weekends. Go on a road trip. Visit out-of-town family or friends for a three-day weekend. In other words, forget about work, the military and the deployment.

• Drink in moderation. The idea that you have to “catch up” on the drinking time you missed while on deployment is nuts, simply because your tolerance for alcohol after returning from deployment won’t be what it was before. So if you drink, take it slow.

Most importantly, if you drink, don’t drive. The average cab ride is relatively cheap. A DUI can cost you thousands of dollars and maybe a life.

---

Bret A. Moore is a clinical psychologist who served in Iraq and is the author of “Wheels Down: Adjusting to Life after Deployment.” E-mail kevlarforthemind@militarytimes.com. Names and identifying details will be kept confidential. This column is for informational purposes only. Readers should see a mental health professional or physician for mental health problems.