In those first moments, there may be shock, disbelief, overwhelming grief, or simply numbness. And then, often before there has even been time to comprehend what has happened, the questions begin.

What happens next? Who will help us? How do we tell our children? How will we manage financially? How do we begin to imagine a future so different from the one we had planned? And perhaps the most frightening question of all: How will we ever do this alone?

This is where the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) steps in, with a simple but powerful promise: You will not walk this journey alone.

At TAPS, we understand that grief is as individual as the love we carry for the person who died. There is no single way to grieve, no timetable for healing, and no expectation that everyone in a family will experience loss in the same way.

Through free, confidential support, TAPS provides individualized care for surviving spouses, partners, children, parents, siblings, extended family members, stepfamilies, former spouses, and military friends. We recognize that while a death may affect an entire family, each person must be supported in ways that reflect their own relationship, experiences, and needs.

In the earliest days following a death, even the simplest decisions can feel impossible. There may be urgent financial concerns, unfamiliar benefits and paperwork, funeral arrangements, and the overwhelming responsibility of making decisions while grieving. Our Survivor Care Team and casework professionals help families navigate these immediate challenges, connect with available resources, and find a path forward, one step at a time.

And perhaps one of the greatest gifts TAPS offers is the connection to someone who truly understands.

Through our Peer Mentor Program, survivors can connect with others who have experienced a similar loss. There is something profoundly comforting about hearing another survivor say, “I understand. I’ve been there. And I’m here for you.”

For children and young adults, this sense of belonging can be especially powerful. The death of a parent, sibling, or other loved one can change the course of a young life. Children may not yet have the words to describe their grief, and their questions and needs will evolve as they grow.

Through TAPS Good Grief Camps, youth programs, military mentorship, and opportunities to build friendships with other grieving children, we help young survivors discover that they are not alone. They can laugh again, make new friends, honor their loved ones, and experience joy without feeling that they are leaving anyone behind.

The same is true for adults.

Through survivor seminars, retreats, TAPS Togethers, Care Groups, online communities, and programs focused on healing, resilience, identity, and personal growth, we remain alongside families through every season of life.

That is one of the most extraordinary things about TAPS. We are not simply a place families turn to in a moment of crisis. We are a compassionate community they can return to for a lifetime.

If you are grieving the death of someone who served in our military or veteran community, regardless of the circumstances of their death, please know that you are part of a family that understands and cares.

Our National Military Survivor Helpline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, at 1-800-959-TAPS (8277).

For more than 30 years, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) has stood beside the families of America’s fallen heroes, ensuring they never walk that journey alone.

Founded in 1994 by Bonnie Carroll after the death of her husband, Army Brig. Gen. Tom Carroll, in an Army plane crash along with seven other Soldiers, TAPS has grown into the national nonprofit organization providing compassionate care and comprehensive resources to all those grieving the death in the military or veteran community. TAPS serves families regardless of how, when or where their loved one died.

Bonnie knows the experience of becoming a survivor firsthand.

“When Tom died, my world changed completely. The grief was overwhelming, and there was no place for me to gather with other military surviving families who understood both the depth of the loss and the extraordinary life and service behind it. I longed for a community where grief could be understood, love could be honored, and hope could begin,” Carroll has said.

That experience became the foundation for a promise: no survivor should ever have to face the journey alone.

Today, TAPS is there from the first moments after a loss through the years that follow. The TAPS 24/7 National Military Survivor Helpline provides a compassionate voice whenever a survivor needs someone to listen, connect to resources or simply be there. TAPS Survivor Care Team members provide personalized support, while peer mentors connect survivors with others who have experienced a similar loss.

TAPS also provides grief and trauma support, casework assistance, guidance in navigating survivor benefits and financial resources, specialized support for suicide loss, survivor seminars and retreats, and age-appropriate programs for children and young survivors.

But TAPS understands that support is about more than services.

It is about remembering.

We remember the names, the stories, the laughter, the sacrifices and the lives of those who served. And we remember the families they left behind.

For TAPS families, remembrance is not confined to a single day or ceremony. It is woven into birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and the ordinary moments when the absence of a loved one is felt most deeply.

That is why TAPS is committed to being there for the long haul.

Grief does not follow a schedule. A survivor may need support immediately after a death, years later when a child reaches a milestone, or at a moment when an unexpected memory brings the loss rushing back. TAPS remains a community of care, compassion and hope throughout that journey.

And while the circumstances of every loss are different, one thing remains constant: we never forget.

We never forget the fallen.

We never forget the families who loved them.

And we never stop standing beside those families.

Because caring for America’s fallen heroes means caring for the people they loved.

When a hero falls, the mission of caring for their family continues. TAPS will be there: for today, for tomorrow and for the lifelong journey ahead.

TAPS is here 24/7.

800-959-TAPS (8277) | taps.org

The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national nonprofit organization providing compassionate care and comprehensive resources to all those grieving a death in the military or veteran community.

For many Americans, this sacred act of remembrance lasts a single day. But for the surviving families of our fallen heroes, every day is Memorial Day. Every sunrise brings another day without a beloved son or daughter, husband or wife, brother, sister, father, mother, or friend. Every gathering carries the quiet ache of an empty chair at the table, a voice no longer heard, a future forever changed.

Their sacrifice did not end on the battlefield. It lives on in the hearts of the families who carry the weight of that loss each and every day.

The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) understands this, and is there every day of the year, with open arms to welcome all those grieving a military loss. TAPS helps survivors find hope and healing, share the story of their loved one’s life and service, and carry their legacy forward with love, purpose, and enduring connection.

Founded by Bonnie Carroll, whose husband died in an Army plane crash in 1992 along with seven other Soldiers, TAPS is the leading national organization providing compassionate care to the families of America’s fallen military heroes. TAPS offers support to these families through peer-based emotional support, connections with grief and trauma resources, grief seminars and retreats for adults and children, casework assistance, and the 24/7 National Military Survivor Helpline, all at no cost. TAPS promises to light the path and to walk alongside survivors as they navigate their grief journey.

This Memorial Day, Americans across our nation will gather to honor the men and women who gave their lives in service to our country. We will pause in gratitude, reflect on their courage, and remember the profound sacrifice made in defense of freedom.

As we honor our fallen heroes, may we also remember the families they left behind. The spouses learning to carry on alone. The parents whose hearts will forever ache for the child they buried. The siblings, children, loved ones, and friends who quietly carry grief through every ordinary moment of life.

For one day, a grateful nation surrounds them with ceremonies, flags, and words of remembrance. But when the crowds disperse and the ceremonies end, their loss remains. For the other 364 days of the year, there are no parades, no public tributes, no flowers arriving at the door. There is only the daily reality of loving and missing someone whose absence changed everything.

These families carry the true and enduring cost of war and service. And for them, every day is Memorial Day.

I sent Jesse packages two to three times a week with things he needed and goodies he wanted. Always thinking of others, one day Jesse asked if I could send packages to a couple of his battle buddies who weren’t receiving mail. No one was ever lonely or upset in his presence, and he couldn’t stand his fellow soldiers not feeling supported. So, for the next 11 months, I mailed packages to Jesse and 15 other soldiers in his unit based in Baghdad, Iraq.

Jesse was killed on Jan. 7, 2004. He left behind his wife and two babies.

I was lost and suddenly without purpose. My husband suggested I keep sending packages, but Jesse’s unit was now home.

Rediscovering Purpose

I eventually got the name of a soldier in Afghanistan. I wrote him a letter asking if I could send him a care package with toiletries and snacks. I’m sure he must have thought: A crazy woman in California wants to send me things, sure!

Once again, I bought supplies and goodies and rediscovered my rhythm of packing and shipping. In each package, I included a letter asking for the name of any soldier who wasn’t receiving mail. My one soldier soon became five, then 15, then 50! It was then that my friend, Stephanie, suggested we form a nonprofit organization. And, so, Packed with Pride was founded.

Names of Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines from all over the world came in, and once word got out, we began receiving donations — from $5 to $500 — allowing us to buy supplies and ship hundreds of boxes. What began in my living room eventually moved to the garage. Before long, even the garage was too tight for our operations.

Pitching In

Volunteers — including parents of service members who received one of our packages — helped with packing. Businesses, including Starbucks and See’s Candy, donated items. And a local church offered Packed with Pride their old youth building — space to accommodate our growing operation.

Packed with Pride operated for 10 years, sending over 60,000 packages to hundreds of men and women serving in the military. I have binders full of letters thanking us for the boxes — letters that brought us joy and encouragement.

Find Your Place, Make a Difference

Throughout our 10 years, I spoke at churches, service organizations, and anywhere else I could find an audience. Each time, I talked about Jesse. That helped me to heal. With each engagement, speaking about him and our loss became easier.

In serving the deployed, I found a way to keep Jesse’s memory alive and continue his legacy of supporting others. But you don’t need to start a nonprofit to be of service. The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) has supported all those grieving a death in the military and veteran communities for over 30 years. Through TAPS, you step into that circle of support — volunteer as a Military Mentor for grieving children, lend a hand at events, or host a fundraiser that brings hope and critical funding to survivors.

Visit TAPS.org/Fundraise to learn how you can be of service.

When facing the holidays in grief, the goal doesn’t have to be simply getting through them. Though painful, this can be a time of amazing growth and transformation. These six tips can help.

1) Admit the Pain of Holiday Grieving

Like the 12-step movement reminds us, we must first admit that this season is tough. There is an empty chair at the table, and that hurts. Because it hurts, there is no need to try to escape it, but acknowledging the grief is admitting that this year is different.

2) Set the Pace for Celebrating

Well-meaning friends and family may want you to attend parties and gatherings, hoping to cheer you up. You may want to participate in some events, but remember that grief is tiring and — even under the best circumstances — the holidays are taxing. You have permission to say no, even to well-intentioned invitations.

3) Evaluate Your Traditions and Create at Least One New One

Your list of holiday traditions may include a dozen or more activities — when you decorate the house, where and when you worship during the holidays, in whose home you share a family meal, and perhaps many others. Since you can’t keep everything like it was, evaluate what you do for the holidays and determine which traditions you want to preserve. And, don’t be afraid to enlist help.

You can also add a new activity, like lighting a candle or hanging a special ornament in honor of the person you lost. Other options, like providing gifts to a family in need or volunteering at a local feeding program or senior living facility, carry on a legacy of service and offer connection.

4) Take Care of Your Physical Well-Being

Eating a well-balanced diet, getting adequate rest, and participating in appropriate exercise for your abilities are essential to the bereavement process and contribute to a positive attitude and outlook. Grief is stressful, so make sure you are carefully monitoring consumption of less healthy foods and potentially harmful substances: caffeine, processed sugar, alcohol, and other addictive chemicals, animal fats, and processed foods. Be sure you are also drinking plenty of water, and talk with your health care professional about changes to your diet and exercise.

5) Consider Your Spirituality

The holidays have spiritual roots. Worshipping with your faith community or having a discussion with a spiritual leader can be comforting this time of year, especially in grief when you may be searching for meaning or spiritual truths.

6) Embrace Memories of Holidays Past

Things won’t be like they were, but we can hold in our hearts the memories of days gone by. Write your favorite stories in a journal. Look through photos in an album or on your phone. These are probably painful at first, but they help us face the future by celebrating with gratitude what we had in the past.

The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) supports all those grieving a death in the military and veteran community. Call the 24/7 National Military Survivor Helpline any time — including holidays, or visit TAPS.org for resources and peer support.

“It’s upside down, but that’s intentional. When I show my Airmen, they can read it,” Parker explains. “After my first few suicide interventions as a chaplain, I kept finding myself saying, ‘If you don’t have anyone you can think of who wants you to stay, know your chaplain wants you to stay.’” The tattoo is a permanent reminder to all her Airmen that their lives matter, even when words aren’t ready to flow.

The Numbers Tell the Story

And sometimes it’s hard to find the words and the courage to open up about thoughts of suicide, especially in a culture that emphasizes strength and resilience. In addition to suicide’s lingering stigma, service members may fear negative career impacts and judgment from peers, subordinates, or superiors if they seek help.

Despite these fears and the isolation that thoughts of suicide can bring, in 2023, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that 12.8 million adults seriously thought about suicide; 3.7 million made a plan; and 1.5 million made an attempt, making suicidal thoughts and actions far more common than many realize.

Second only to illness loss, suicide losses accounted for nearly one-third of all survivors from the military and veteran communities who were connected with the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors in 2024. Each of those suicide-loss survivors represents the widely cited average of 135 people impacted by a single suicide — family members, friends, battle buddies, and social acquaintances.

Each of those 135 individuals exposed to a suicide is now statistically four times more likely to have thoughts of suicide themselves; but, immediate, safe postvention care dramatically reduces this risk. “Postvention, the support following a suicide that promotes recovery and healing, must be a critical component of any suicide prevention strategy,” says TAPS’ Vice President of Suicide Prevention, Intervention, and Postvention Dr. Carla Stumpf Patton. It’s about tending to the unique grief of suicide loss and preventing further suicide losses, and it’s an important part of the job for Capt. Parker, her fellow chaplains, and TAPS.

Suicide Postvention Is Prevention

For many of the same reasons why it can be hard to open up about suicidal thoughts, military and veteran suicide-loss survivors may struggle navigating their grief and reaching out for help. TAPS understands that connecting with a peer — someone who has experienced similar grief and is now ready to support a fellow suicide-loss survivor — is critical to navigating this complex grief. The stigma falls away, and the survivor is understood — even if words aren’t ready to flow.

Through stabilization, grief, and growth, TAPS is dedicated to the mission of prevention through postvention. For anyone grieving the loss of someone in the military or veteran community: There is hope, and you have a place at TAPS. In the words of Capt. Parker, “The most valuable resource we have is each other.”

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 (press 1 for the Veterans Crisis Line), or text 838255. TAPS offers 24/7 peer-based support for anyone grieving the loss of someone in the military and veteran community, including anyone impacted by a service member or veteran suicide: Call the TAPS 24/7 National Military Survivor Helpline at 800-959-TAPS (8277), or visit TAPS.org for more information.

The annual Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) Good Grief Camp — a camp just for children who have lost a loved one who served in the U.S. armed forces — is held alongside the National Military Survivor Seminar for surviving adults over Memorial Day weekend in Arlington, Virginia.

Dempsey, with 600 children seated cross-legged all around him, invited questions from the group. Though each child carried the weight of profound loss, questions were light and generally military-focused — medals, missions, and the like.

Then, encouraged by her Military Mentor, 4-year-old Lizzie Yaggy raised her hand. She meant to ask a question about sports, but as Lizzie, now 18, recalls, “My mind blanked. So, I just asked, ‘Is my daddy an angel?’”

Lizzie lost her father, Marine Corps Major David Yaggy, before her second birthday. He was a decorated pilot and instructor, deeply admired by his peers, and tragically killed during a routine training flight with VT-6 based at NAS Whiting Field in March 2008. Lizzie’s memories of her dad come mostly from stories, photos, and TAPS.

A long pause echoed through the hushed room while all eyes were on Dempsey for an answer. When the answer finally came, Lizzie and the entire room found comfort in it: “Yes, of course he is.”

To further lift the children’s spirits, Dempsey did something no one expected; he began to sing. The tune wasn’t a hymn or military cadence, it was a silly, cheerful, and wonderfully odd camp song that has since become a beloved TAPS tradition: “The Unicorn.” As the children joined in singing and acting out the song’s lyrics, joy filled the room.

That moment — Lizzie’s question, Dempsey’s answer, and the song — was a turning point for Lizzie and the hundreds of children who have found comfort in the rituals and rhythms of Good Grief Camp.

Today, “The Unicorn” song opens every TAPS Good Grief Camp, bridging sadness and strength, and reminding the youngest survivors that they aren’t alone.

What makes Good Grief Camp extraordinary isn’t just the programming; it’s the people. Each child is paired with a Military Mentor — a service member or veteran who volunteers their weekend to support a grieving child. These mentors and senior leaders like General Dempsey represent a living connection to a child’s military heritage. They represent comfort and courage, and are reminders that their military family always remembers its own.

Because TAPS receives no federal funding, Good Grief Camp exists thanks to the generosity of donors, especially the New York Life Foundation and the Hartwell Foundation. Their support creates safe, loving spaces where children can talk about grief without shame, laugh without guilt, and find hope through community.

“There is no other place like Good Grief Camp,” says Maria Collins, Vice President of the New York Life Foundation. “We are proud to help create an environment where children find hope, healing, and a sense of belonging.”

For Lizzie, it’s more than a camp — it’s where she learned to smile again, where she saw herself reflected in others, and where her father’s legacy lives on through songs, stories, and shared strength.

To support children like Lizzie, visit taps.org/donate. To become a Military Mentor, visit taps.org/support.

Because no child should ever have to grieve alone.

TAPS will be joined on Capitol Hill by surviving families from all over the country from Sept. 23-26 for TAPS Gold Star Families Advocacy Week. Survivors as young as 8 years old will share with members of the House and Senate how they have been personally impacted by the issues below — TAPS’ legislative priorities. Their powerful stories will lead the way to change for the entire military survivor community.

Pass Comprehensive Remarriage Legislation

The Love Lives On Act is a top legislative priority for TAPS. It seeks to secure surviving military spouses’ right to remarry at any age and retain their survivor benefits. The Love Lives On Act would:

● Allow surviving spouses to retain their benefits upon remarriage at any age (removing the current age requirement, 55). This includes the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP), Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC), and education benefits under the Fry Scholarship and Dependents Education Assistance (DEA).

● Allow remarried surviving spouses to regain their TRICARE benefits if their remarriage ends due to death, divorce, or annulment.

● Remove the “Hold Themselves Out to Be Remarried” clause.

Improve Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC) for Eligible Surviving Spouses

TAPS continues to work with Congress to pass the Caring for Survivors Act, which would bring Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC) payments in line with benefits for surviving spouses of federal employees. DIC is a tax-free monetary benefit paid to eligible survivors of military service members who died in the line of duty or from a service-connected injury or illness. TAPS continues to work with Congress to:

● Increase DIC from 43 percent to 55 percent the rate of compensation paid to a 100 percent disabled veteran.

● Reduce the timeframe a veteran needs to be rated totally disabled from 10 to five years, expanding DIC eligibility.

Provide Tricare and Civilian Health and Medical Program for the Department of Veterans Affairs (CHAMPVA) Young Adult Coverage in Parity with the Affordable Care Act (ACA)

TAPS supports the Health Care Fairness for Military Families Act, which would allow TRICARE young adults to remain on their parent’s policy up to age 26 without a premium increase, and TAPS seeks to expand coverage for eligible surviving children up to age 26 through the passage of the CHAMPVA Children’s Care Protection Act. TAPS is committed to working with Congress to:

● Pass the CHAMPVA Children’s Care Protection Act to ensure surviving families with young adults have access to affordable health care and mental health benefits.

● Pass the Health Care Fairness for Military Families Act, which would allow TRICARE young adults to remain on their parent’s policy up to age 26 without a premium increase.

Ashlynne was 10 years old when her father died. The following month, over Memorial Day weekend, she found herself apprehensively attending her first Good Grief Camp alongside other surviving children. She later shared this camp was one of the best things that ever happened to her. “For the first time since my dad died…I was normal,” she recalls. From the atmosphere, mentors, and fellow campers, she returned home empowered to move forward with grief in one hand and gratitude in the other.

In the time between her first Good Grief Camp in 2002 and high school graduation in 2009, Ashlynne and her family were regulars at TAPS events. As a teen, Ashlynne jumped at the chance to mentor young Good Grief Campers. “It was the natural next step in healing,” Ashlynne shares, “passing on that support TAPS showed me the first time I walked into camp and every day since.”

Ashlynne carried forward her father’s legacy of service, and she learned by watching her mother, Nichole, that legislation impacting survivors needed critical attention. As Ashlynne shared in a 2019 op-ed for The Oklahoman, the “Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC) benefits from the Department of Veterans Affairs of $1,200 per month [was] nowhere close to my dad’s salary…” To supplement this, Nichole was also eligible to receive Jeffrey’s retirement benefits and Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP). “Initially,” Ashlynne went on to write, “my mom was under the impression we would receive both the DIC and SBP payments, only to learn later that for every dollar we received in DIC, we [lost] a dollar in SBP.” This has long been referred to as the Widow’s Tax within the survivor community. Ashlynne’s mom was not about to leave this for the next family to deal with. She leaned in, learned, and advocated on Capitol Hill with Ashlynne in tow.

Walking the halls of the Capitol alongside her mom fighting for survivor benefits sparked Ashlynne’s love for policy and advocacy, which led her to pursue political science at American University in Washington, D.C. In school and at TAPS, Ashlynne thrived — balancing education and service, just as her father taught her.

But, in 2011, Ashlynne again faced a devastating loss when her mother died by suicide, and she was left to navigate adulthood, survivor benefits, and college expenses amid grief and on her own.

She was not alone, though. TAPS was in her corner, and with the organization’s help, Ashlynne graduated. She joined the TAPS staff after graduation and was committed to creating an education portal that simplified and streamlined federal, state, and private benefits for survivors seeking postsecondary education. Ashlynne’s creation, now referred to as TAPS Education Support Services, continues to assist surviving family members with education benefits today. In the last five years alone, it identified $1.6 billion in education funding for survivors.

Ashlynne now channels her dedication to the survivor community into advocating for survivor policy and benefits on Capitol Hill as the TAPS Deputy Director of Government and Legislative Affairs. She’s been an integral part of landmark legislation, including the passage of the Forever GI Bill, the ongoing appeal to pass the Love Lives On Act, and the accomplishment that makes her most proud, the legislation that sparked her interest in advocacy years ago — eliminating the Widow’s Tax. “It was a 20-year battle, and while my mom never got to see it through, I wanted to personally continue that fight in her memory,” Ashlynne shared.

From her early days as a Good Grief Camper to becoming a respected advocate for survivors on Capitol Hill, Ashlynne embodies the precious task of carrying forward her parents’ legacies — service, education, and advocacy. And, somewhere along the way, she began to weave a legacy for the survivor community that is all her own.

This article is adapted from “The Legacy Lives On,” originally published in TAPS Magazine. Read the full version at taps.org.

As the one-year anniversary of the historic PACT Act signing approaches, the Department of Veterans Affairs — with support from the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, or TAPS — is ramping up an already aggressive campaign to deliver the legislation’s promised benefits and increased presumptions to veterans who were exposed to toxins while serving and family members who have lost a loved one to a service-connected illness. The urgency to file is the fast-approaching Aug. 9 deadline. Veterans and survivors who wish to qualify for backdated benefits must submit their claims or intent to file by Aug. 9, 2023.

It is important to note that there is no deadline to apply for benefits under PACT Act in general, but the financial impact of these retroactive benefits could be significant. The VA and TAPS encourage veterans, caregivers, and illness-loss survivors to submit their applications as soon as possible to maximize their benefits.

TAPS is specifically working on outreach to those who lost a family member to service-connected illness. “Both TAPS and our partners at the VA understand that filing claims is not just the act of electronically filing paperwork,” states Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President. “For surviving family members, choosing to revisit the circumstances of loss is a difficult decision, and navigating government forms can be intimidating for those who are grieving. TAPS is standing ready to guide illness-loss survivors through the VA’s streamlined process.”

After learning about the PACT Act and being told she might be eligible for benefits, surviving spouse, Kerrie Wieners, expected a fight, but after years of caretaking, the tragic loss of her husband, and years of navigating grief, she admitted, “I didn’t have a fight left in me.”

Kerrie’s late husband, Robert F. Wieners, Jr., a U.S. Army Reserve veteran, died in April of 2011 after developing lung cancer caused by prolonged exposure to burn pits while deployed to Iraq shortly after 9/11. Kerrie recalls the many satellite phone calls she got from Bob while he was in Iraq. In addition to his words of love and reassurance — and even humor — in those phone calls, Kerrie remembers, even then, his talk of burn pits stuck out to her.

Bob came home to her and their two children after that deployment, but Kerrie noticed a change. “He was hurt.” But it wasn’t until he was recovering after neck and back surgery that they would discover how hurt Bob really was. His physical therapist discovered blood clots in both of Bob’s legs. He instructed Bob to see his primary care doctor and not to leave until he knew what was wrong.

In an attempt to find the cause of the blood clots, Bob’s medical team — seemingly by accident — discovered a brain bleed. Further testing revealed a baseball-sized mass in his chest. The eventual diagnosis was stage 4 lung cancer. Kerrie’s immediate question was, “How long does he have?” and the answer was six months.

Kerrie shares that it took four six-month life expectancy estimates before Bob eventually lost his battle with cancer — a testament to the fight he had in him.

Years later, Kerrie wondered if she could fight like that. After a previous denial for VA benefits, could she try again? Would she be successful, and would it be worth it? Not knowing who to turn to for help, she looked to TAPS. A process that she thought would take years — and even then held no promise of benefits at the finish line — was much shorter. Within minutes, a TAPS caseworker assured her that if Bob’s death certificate cited lung cancer, she would get PACT Act benefits. Her forms were drawn up, she signed electronically, and she was referred to a local contact for in-person support.

Just weeks later, Kerrie received a check from the Department of the Treasury — a check she thought would never come. After the shock wore off, she faced another emotion: guilt.

She asked herself, “Do I deserve this? Am I just being greedy?” But, her message to any illness-loss survivor hesitant to file a PACT Act claim is this: The barriers between survivors and benefits aren’t always visible. The VA has done tremendous work to right a complicated process and expand benefits that were once only available to a narrow population of veterans. But legislation isn’t always enough. What might be holding a survivor back from filing are the things they carry — the perceived intimidation of the process, the desire not to reopen emotional wounds, and the guilt rooted in collecting benefits they deserve, but may not think they need.

Illness-loss survivors do not have to face the process alone. Kerrie shares simply, “If I didn’t have help, I wouldn’t have benefits.” TAPS was that help for Kerrie, and — Ms. Carroll shares — “TAPS is standing by to support all illness-loss survivors in pursuit of retroactive PACT Act benefits through the Aug. 9 deadline, and, as we have been for nearly 30 years, we will remain a constant source of support and resources for all those grieving the death of a military or veteran loved one.”

Visit va.gov/pact to begin filing your claim today, and taps.org/pactact for filing assistance and support.

Continue reading about Kerrie Wieners’ experience and the veteran and survivor advocacy work of Jon Stewart and TAPS.