Military Culture

Let’s blade, brah! Pakistani police shred the gnar while shredding crime

Pakistani police are being outfitted with pieces of gear the likes of which have always been seen.

According to a recent report, 5-0 in the city of Karachi are being issued rollerblades to help in their mission to fight theft and harassment.

“Why is this news? Must be a slow day,” you’re angrily typing for the millionth time into the black hole that is a Facebook comment thread. Know what isn’t slow? Crime fighters on inline skates ripping down streets and catching sick air off janky obstacles.

(Brink!)
(Brink!)

Think about it. There a thief is, just having secured a treasured item, enjoying the thrill of the heist and riding 25-foot waves of positivity until ... whoa! A bladed Usain Bolt appears out of nowhere — after unnecessarily jumping a motorcycle instead of skating conveniently around it. So rad.

You wanted to go for broke, but instead, you just got apprehended by the stoke.

Oh, and have we mentioned these exuberant units are armed?

Think about what sort of combat glide improvements the U.S. military could make if service members were actually, you know, gliding.

Of course, all anyone has to do to get away from the gnar police is run into an area with dirt or rocks, but whatever. Let’s blade, brah.

Roll on down below to check out the specialized unit.

Observation Post articles reflect author observations or attempts at humor. Any resemblance to news may be purely coincidental.

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